211. Golden Relationship Rules - Part 3

In Part 3 of this special mini series, Sara and Anna share rules 5 and 6 from their list of ten. These are the kind of relationship truths that land, then quietly stick with you for days.

They begin with a quick catch-up about choppy paddleboarding conditions, warm weather that does not feel remotely Christmassy, and the fact that Christmas is fast approaching, whether either of them feels ready or not. Then they dive into the next two golden rules to help you strengthen your relationship in 2026.

Rule 5: Appreciate loudly, criticise softly

Sara and Anna unpack why most of us are quicker to criticise than to appreciate, and how easy it is to fall into “you always” and “you never” language, especially around everyday stress and household routines.

They explore:

• Why we tend to gloss over the good because of our natural negativity bias
• How appreciation often stays inside our heads, even when we feel it
• The impact of receiving messages that are only logistics, not affection
• Why criticism delivered as an attack almost always leads to defensiveness
• How to start gently by naming what you have noticed and getting curious about what is going on underneath

They also offer a simple challenge you can do right now: pause the episode and send your partner a message of appreciation about something small they did in the last 24 hours.

Rule 6: Don’t let the ego win, apologise even when it’s hard

This rule becomes a heartfelt conversation about vulnerability, emotional safety, and what it takes to repair after a moment you are not proud of.

They explore:

• Why apologising can feel physically uncomfortable, especially if you never saw it modelled growing up
• How a genuine apology creates safety, and often invites your partner to own their part too
• The difference between being wrong and taking responsibility for your actions
• The biggest apology mistake is using the word “but”
• Why over-apologising can drain the power from the words, especially when it becomes people pleasing

They also share a practical tip: slow it down, make eye contact, and say “I am sorry”, not a rushed, automatic “sorry”.

Reflection prompts

• What is one thing your partner did recently that you appreciated, but did not say out loud?
• Where does your ego tend to show up most in your relationship?
  If you needed to repair today, what would a clean apology sound like, with no “but”?

Next in the series: Part 4 will cover rules 7 and 8, as you keep moving through the full set of 10 tips for a stronger 2026 together.